{"product_id":"zero-f-cks-given-opossum-keychain-w-custom-birthstone-funny-poem-card","title":"\"Zero F*cks Given\" Opossum Keychain w\/ Custom Birthstone \u0026 Funny Poem Card 🐾🗑️","description":"\u003ch3 class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eIs life feeling a little bit like a hot dumpster fire lately? 🫠 We get it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eSometimes, the daily BS just gets too high. When yoga and deep breathing don't cut it, it’s time to channel your inner trash marsupial. 🦝✨\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0710\/8427\/7921\/files\/nano_sgl_10451576-8799-4904-b03e-477ba032eb3b.jpg?v=1777709826\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eMeet your new emotional support bestie! This hilariously unhinged 3D opossum keychain is here to remind you that sometimes, the best reaction is to simply eat a garbage-can apple, play dead, and respectfully flip off the world. 🖕🍎\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0710\/8427\/7921\/files\/nano_sgl_bfe88cdc-4d6b-4cb9-8682-de93b35940d0.jpg?v=1777709825\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eWhether you’re attaching it to your car keys, your work lanyard, or your everyday backpack, this little guy is guaranteed to get a laugh and keep your mental health... well, surviving. 😂\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0710\/8427\/7921\/files\/nano_sgl_8a6dc10c-8a3a-4fc3-bdf0-1f4cb30b8f3f.jpg?v=1777709826\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eWhy You (or Your Bestie) Need This: ✨\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e🖕 The Ultimate \"Mood\" Charm:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eFeatures a highly detailed, slightly deranged opossum proudly showing off its middle finger. It says everything you're thinking so you don't have to!\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e💎 Make It Personal:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eChoose from 12 beautiful, sparkling birthstone options. It shows you actually put thought into the gift (even if it is a trash animal).\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e🪦 \"PLAY DEAD\" Tag:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eIncludes a sturdy metal stamped tag with the ultimate introvert survival strategy.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e💌 The Hilarious Keepsake Card:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eComes beautifully displayed on a premium card featuring a funny, rhyming poem that perfectly captures the modern vibe. (It's ready to gift right out of the package!)\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0710\/8427\/7921\/files\/nano_sgl_cb386466-2b37-404d-bb22-1c4e6999ed46.jpg?v=1777709826\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e📖 The Poem Reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e(Because we know you want to read it again)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eWhenever the world is a hot dumpster fire,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eAnd the daily bullshit couldn't get any higher:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eLook at this possum, so strangely polite,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eEating a garbage-can apple at night.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eHe looks quite unhinged with his pale pointy face,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eAnd plays dead to escape from the whole human race.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eSo carry this charm when you're out of good luck,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eAnd channel his spirit: give zero actual fucks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0710\/8427\/7921\/files\/nano_sgl_3cd83beb-dbd1-4202-ba2f-1ca0cda686b7.jpg?v=1777709826\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e🎁 The Perfect Gift For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eThat one coworker who is hanging by a thread at the office 🏢\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eYour best friend's birthday (Match their birthstone!) 🎂\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eAnyone going through a breakup, stressful finals week, or just Monday. 🌧️\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eYOURSELF.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBecause you deserve a little treat. 🛍️\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eProduct Details 🛠️:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eMaterial: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eIron(2D), zinc alloy metal hardware, crystal accent\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eBirthstone:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBrilliant-cut colored glass crystal\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eWhat's Included:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e1 x Opossum Charm, 1 x \"PLAY DEAD\" tag, 1 x Custom Birthstone, 1 x Metal Hardware Clip, 1 x Funny Poem Card.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize: \u003c\/strong\u003ekeychain: 3*5cm+Card: 9*7cm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e👉 [ Add to Cart ] and start giving zero f*cks today! 🛒💨\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Symbol","offers":[{"title":"January","offer_id":46204018458785,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ1","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"February","offer_id":46204018491553,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ2","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"March","offer_id":46204018524321,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ3","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"April","offer_id":46204018557089,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ4","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"May","offer_id":46204018589857,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ5","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"June","offer_id":46204018622625,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ6","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"July","offer_id":46204018655393,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ7","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"August","offer_id":46204018688161,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ8","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"September","offer_id":46204018720929,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ9","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"October","offer_id":46204018753697,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ10","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"November","offer_id":46204018786465,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ11","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"December","offer_id":46204018819233,"sku":"PH6040321ZZ12","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0710\/8427\/7921\/files\/nano_sgl_3c80273a-5242-4835-94f7-b96f54f4374f.jpg?v=1777705500","url":"https:\/\/flairgifts.com\/products\/zero-f-cks-given-opossum-keychain-w-custom-birthstone-funny-poem-card","provider":"flairgifts.com","version":"1.0","type":"link"}